


That's Okay

by murderbreak



Series: Conversations and Situations [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Sadstuck, Suicide, Zombiestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 01:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1921182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderbreak/pseuds/murderbreak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m tough, you know me,” Jake joked, but Dirk was crying into his chest and then Jake was crying. It was a mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> based off of a stupid idea darian gave to me to make me cry

They ran so fast, ran so far. Pushed themselves as far as their legs would allow, to the limit of breaking and then so far past that.

The place seemed safe. So safe. It would give them a break from running from a constant threat that surrounded them on all sides. They could find food, maybe shelter. Plenty of places like that in a zoo. They didn’t need anyone. They had each other. Jake was good with survival. Dirk was good with the rest.

Animals were still there. Carcasses, zombified. Dirk made a point of keeping Jake away from the creatures. “Don’t you touch them,” Dirk told him over what could be considered dinner. “Don’t.” Jake didn’t respond, only nodded in understanding. Creatures were bloody dangerous.

This lasted for a good few days until Jake found an animal while they went out on food hunt. The creature was a small dog. Seemed innocent and lively, not slow and sluggish like those…things crawling around. With his love’s back turned Jake went for the pup, ready to pet, using his boyish charm approach, only to have the animal whip around and bite him. A curse slipped from Jake’s lips and brought Dirk’s attention, panic flooding, and Jake shot the pup repeatedly. It was freshly turned. No wonder it looked so lively.

Dirk was panicked and Jake was trying to calm him, shush, love, it’s alright, I’m fine. It was an animal bite. That can’t be anything. “I’m tough, you know me,” Jake joked, but Dirk was crying into his chest and then Jake was crying. It was a mess.

They waited. Dirk scolded him like a child for disobeying, wrapped his wound as best he could. He was crying. He couldn’t stop. Fear was flowing through his veins, flooding his mind, drowning his brain. Jake couldn’t get him to stop. They ate with silence and lay down after making sure the area was secure. They talked, stared, Dirk crying and Jake reassuring him. He pressed kisses to the blond’s nose, to his hair line, his soft hair, his lips, his flushed cheeks. Anywhere he could while he could.

They knew the inevitable outcome.

Dirk watched the love of his life deteriorate right before his eyes.

It felt like forever and no time had passed all at once. Light drained from Jake’s eyes, he felt cold. Dirk wouldn’t let go, only told Jake he loved him over and over and over and over. Jake returned the sentiment as much as he could. He felt weak. He clung to Dirk with all his might for all he could, smiling through blood that stained his lips. He begged Dirk to tie him down when he finally made the transition. Dirk didn’t say a word. “I won’t go on without you,” he told him instead.

Dirk watched him die. He tied him down by request.

Dirk stayed in that zoo. He said hello to Jake every morning and I love you every night.

He stayed like this for days.

There was a large part of Dirk that wanted to just end this, a part that was slowly overtaking everything else. What was the point of going on without Jake? Dirk didn’t have a reason to go on. Jake was his motivation, his happiness, his sun in the middle of this long, long night. Why live in a world with no sun?

Dirk sat in front of Jake. He’d cry, but his tears have run dry. He’s tired and sore and he doesn’t want to fight anymore. No reason to. He’s tired of the days dragging. So tired. He stared at the empty remnants of his lover. Jake wanted to snap at him, to tear him flesh from bone. Dirk knew. That’s okay.

“I love you,” Dirk said. Jake growled, raspy breathing the only sound Dirk could hear. He didn’t expect to hear it back. It's okay. If Jake were to see him doing this he’d end Dirk himself, but he wasn’t. His Jake wasn’t there to stop him, to talk reason, give him a reason from letting this even happen. Jake wasn’t here. Dirk had no reason. No Jake, no point. He wouldn’t go on without Jake.

 _Jake_.

Dirk held his hand out to the zombie. No provoking was needed; the dead bit into the flesh and Dirk let it happen. He ignored the pain from teeth breaking into tender and soft skin. That’s all he needed. He pulled away again and sat.

He waited. He was ready to be with Jake again, even if he wouldn’t really quite be with him. The long night was over and Dirk could sleep. It was painful. Jake took a big bite. But that’s okay. He untied Jake, unknowing if the zombie would finish the job or leave off. He didn’t care. It wasn’t really Jake. Just a shell, something Dirk was looking forward to becoming.

Dirk could feel himself fading. He ignored the pain, just let it consume him instead. He was ready and willing to let go. It was game over. No more dealing with the heartache that plagued his system. No more scavenging for food or crying himself to sleep. No more painful memories of their lives together. No more smiles or laughter. No more sun. No more Jake. No more him. No more. 

That's okay.


End file.
